"Raggedy man, goodbye."

It's official that Matt Smith will be leaving "Doctor Who" in/after this year's Christmas Special. And I'm super sad. I've been moping around ever since I got the news yesterday. My mum even asked me if something bad had happened, but I refused to tell her because she'd never understand. I don't even really understand it myself. Most of the people who know me probably won't understand, especially those how know how hard a time I had accepting Matt as the Doctor in the first place. 
When Christopher Eccleston left, I didn't want anyone else to play the Doctor. And I didn't want to like David Tennant because everyone seemed to like him so much and he was easy on the eye. I really thought people just liked him for his looks. I wanted to hold onto Eccleston so fiercely, because he was the reason I started watching "Doctor Who" in the first place. It was such a shock when Eccleston's Doctor regenerated and suddenly this young jumpy bloke appeared who reminded me so much of Tigger from "Winnie the Pooh". And he smiled this smile and was all cute and I felt myself falling this guy instantly. But I still refused to let myself like him, let him charm me with his cute smile and great hair. But then I watched "The Christmas Invasion", his first episode, and he spent most of the time unconscious and clad in pajamas. But then he woke up and he quoted "The Lion King" and flirted with Rose and I found myself absolutely smitten with this adorable adorable man. And from this moment on, David Tennant was my Doctor. And he always will be. Christopher Eccleston will always have a special place in my heart because he was my first Doctor, but David Tennant will always be the one for me. My Doctor. 
When David finally regenerated, I was in tears. I was devastated. I didn't want him to go. Never. I know it's unfair, because, of course David should be allowed to go and play other roles and not have to be the Doctor for the rest of his career/life. And he did and went on to do really awesome shows and movies , not to mention his work on stage (which is what he should be doing, really. Because he's an amazing stage actor.). But I did not want to let him go. And I certainly did not want to accept this silly Matt Smith bloke. 'Cause that's what he was to me. Just some silly young bloke who made the Doctor act way too childish. Everything he did seemed just so slapstick. There were some really nice moments there from the beginning as well, but Matt's Doctor just never managed to sweep me off my feet as David did. I got used to Matt after a while. There were still moments when I desperately wished for David Tennant to come back. And if I'm being perfectly honest, I still miss David a lot. But it got better. And I learned to enjoy watching Matt Smith in the role. In retrospect, I think the reason why I had such problems getting used to this new Doctor might have been a mix of several factors: new Doctor, new companions, new writer. Maybe that was just too much change at once. When Christopher Eccleston regenerated into David Tennat, Rose was still there as the companion. There was this constant. And then David Tennant was there with changing companions. And the writer was still Russell T. Davies, of course. There was still that. When David and RTD left, everything changed. The whole show felt different. I cannot say if it would have been easier for me to accept Matt Smith had RTD still been in charge of the show. You all know that I don't enjoy Steven Moffat's writing all that much. But I don't blame him for my initial problems with Matt. I know that Matt would never have become my Doctor. That will always be David Tennant. After a while, I think it might have been the "Vincent and the Doctor" episode, I started to accept this new Doctor. I also started to separate Matt's acting from Moffat's writing. There are still times when I really dislike some of the things this Doctor says or does, but these things are not Matt. They're simply in the script. And there are a lot of delightful moments as well. Moments when I really like this Doctor, Matt's Doctor. And since Jenna-Louise Coleman became his new companion Clara, I really started to enjoy "Doctor Who" a lot more again. Not that the Ponds hadn't been good companions, I liked them well enough and was even a little sad when they left (not as sad as when Rose or Donna left, but then, if David Tennant is my Doctor, Rose and Donna are my companions), but the chemistry between Matt and Jenna is different again, and I just really really enjoy watching them on screen together. I also started to appreciate Matt Smith's Doctor even more. Oh, and Matt was simply brilliant in "A Nightmare in Silver". I knew he was a good actor, but I feel like this episode really showed off his acting skills. He simply blew me away. 
But now that I found this whole new appreciation for Matt Smith as the Doctor he will only be in two more episode and then he'll be gone. And there will be a new actor taking his place, as he took David Tennant's place 4 years ago. By now I know that the fact that there will be a new Doctor won't make me stop watching the show. And I decided to give them a fair chance. Who knows, I might like whomever they cast even better than Matt Smith. And maybe they will have great chemistry with Jenna (should she be staying) as well. It could be great. (Of course I'm a bit disappointed that Steven Moffat is probably going to stay, but that's got nothing to do with Matt leaving.) It could be wonderful. I might not even be missing Matt. Who knows?
But for now, I'm just really sad that Matt will be leaving. Okay?

Steven Moffat is a Genius! - Doctor Who 7x13 "The Name of the Doctor"

You gotta give that to Steven Moffat - that man's a genius! Changing the entire canon of 50 years of television within one 45 minutes episode. Not many writers would have been capable to do that! And I think it deserves a round of applause and a review:


Doctor Who 7x13 The Name of the Doctor

I have to say, I absolutely ADORED the opening sequence. I loved how ALL THE DOCTORS were in there, the CLASSIC DOCTORS, in COLOUR (when two of them did never even exist in colour!). The editing team did a really great job on that, and I loved seeing situations from Classic Who episodes. *sigh* My Doctors. And Clara's outfits in each of the times were really cute, too. (Yeah, I'm still a girl, I like to look at pretty clothes!)
And Clara is floating on a leaf? All I could think of was: "I'm a leaf on the wind. Watch how I soar."  - Sorry, but how could it not remind me of Firefly/Serenity? Oh Wash *cries* And it got me thinking...
[Caution: major crack ensuing] First of all: No wonder Clara is dying all the time - we know that being a leaf on the wind basically kills you. Look at Wash. And then I thought: What if Wash - who couldn't explain what it means but was muttering this sentence like a mantra - what if Wash was a future incarnation of the Doctor, his last incarnation, and deep in his subconscious he still remembered Clara and connected her to leafs, and he knew he was gonna die this time, and remembered Clara always saving him, and that's why he talked about leafs on the wind shortly before he died. I know it's completely ridiculous, but I also kind of like the idea.
Uhm... on with the schedule:
One the one hand, Clara being present in all the Doctor's timelines made me happy, because we got to see all the Classic Doctors and some extremely good editing. But I also hated the way it was done. Because now, it seems as if Clara was the most important companion of all of them, because she was there ALL THE TIME, saving the Doctor over and over again. It just implies that without Clara, the Doctor would never have survived his first incarnation. Hell, he would never even have picked his TARDIS - which is basically THE PREMISE for everything that ever happened on Doctor Who! And not only that, in Neil Gaiman's beautiful "The Doctor's Wife" we learned that, in fact, it wasn't the Doctor who stole the TARDIS, but the TARDIS who chose to appeal to this Doctor, so she could steal him! Which was a wonderful idea that is now spoiled by Clara telling the Doctor to take this particular TARDIS.
And thus, Steven Moffat managed to change 50 years of DW history in just one episode. And I did mean it when I said that this made him a genius. Because now, the entire show is changed by him. He literally managed to influence the past 50 years. To infiltrate. With HIS idea. HIS plot. HIS companion. I don't think any other writer of television would have ever been able to conduct such an idea. I also don't think that many other writers would have had the sheer arrogance to do so. 'Cause that what it is. Arrogance. Major arrogance on Steven Moffat's part. And it might have been a genius move, but that doesn't mean I like it. In fact, I hate it. I hate the fact that Moffat always has to make everything about himself. And his stint as a show runner. And that he tries to imply that the companions he created were in any way more important than the companions before them. Because they're not. They're just NOT! Each and every companion on this show was important. They all saved the Doctor. They all shaped the Doctor. They made him who he is now! And that's why everyone has their own favourite companion. Because no companion was better or more important than any other. And Steven Moffat already tried to undermine this when he made series 6 all about the Ponds and River Song and made River Song the Doctor's wife. But that was only one timeline. And now he messed with ALL OF THE DOCTORS' TIMELINES! I mean, I like Clara. I think she's cute and funny and awesome and I enjoy watching her interact with the Doctor. She's his impossible girl. But I really don't want her to be the Doctor's most important girl. Because it's not right.

Speaking of companions:

I always enjoy seeing the Paternoster Gang back. I like Vastra, Jenny and Strax.  They should get their own mini-spinoff series in the manner of "Pond Life". That would be fun. I really loved their role in "The Snowmen" and "The Crimson Horror", but to be honest, I'm not quite sure as to their particular purpose in "The Name of the Doctor". Alright, Vastra had to call in that conference during which River latched on to Clara's mind, Jenny had to die and Strax had to bring her back to life and I suppose they were supposed to illustrate the consequences of the Doctor's death (with Jenny being dead and Strax seeing Vastra as an enemy), but when the Doctor was dying (over and over again) and even before, when he told them to keep the Great Intelligence from jumping into his scar tissue and messing with his past, they were perfectly useless. They DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Just stood and watched. But we've seen them fight before. We know how capable they are! Why would they just stand there now?! It makes absolutely no sense. And I suppose one could have solved the River-Clara connection in some other way.
Jenny's death, even if not really needed for the overall plot, made me realise another thing I really dislike about Moffat's writing: Death doesn't mean anything anymore. Moffat kills of characters all the time: Rory, Clara, Jenny - even River to some extent - but in the end they're always still alive. There's no consequences to dying anymore. So, if a character dies, you don't even feel sad or emotional about it anymore, because by now, you just expect them to be back and perfectly alright at some point.

But at least we seem to be done with River Song now...? At least it looks that way. And I really really hope so. Yeah, I'm still not too fond of her. In fact, to me, River Song is one of the most annoying to ever appear on Doctor Who. A huge part of that has to do with Steven Moffat's writing and her characterization (another, smaller part has to do with Ms. Alex Kingston's acting). She was alright when she first appeared in series 4, but when Moffat kept on bringing her back again and again - having the Doctor marry her, no less - it just got too much. Partly because, as mentioned above, I hate this "this companion is more important than the others" stuff. I also really disliked the whole story surrounding her existence - being the daughter of Amy and Rory, conceived in the TARDIS, manipulated into killing the Doctor... I'm pretty sure I've already ranted about this plenty of times before.
Also, River's character really makes me dislike the Doctor at times. And we're not supposed to dislike the Doctor. At least, I DON'T WANT TO HAVE TO dislike the Doctor. First of all: The Doctor used to be all about not using violence. He carries a SONIC SCREWDRIVER, not a SONIC BLASTER/ weapon. In "The Doctor Dances" (written by none other than Steven Moffat, but he must have forgotten that) the Doctor talks about a weapons factory that he destroyed and now there's a banana grove there. Because he doesn't like weapons. He likes bananas. Bananas are good. But somehow, as soon as River is concerned, he has no qualms about her using weapons and violence all the time. He even flirted with her while she was using her weapon. He doesn't even seem to care anymore. That's just wrong. And there's something else. He married her. He refers to her as his wife. And then... he acts really inconsistently towards her. Sometimes they kiss and he cares about her and is all choked up because he knows she's gonna die and he gets all emotional and acts as if he might really be in love with her. Other times, he behaves like a complete jerk. In "The Angels Take Manhattan" he just lets her break her wrist. He yells at her on so many occasions and gets mad at her even though she's not even at fault. And he doesn't even care when she's not around. As mentioned several times in this episode alone, he just leaves her behind without even bothering. She's his wife and he didn't even tell Clara she's a woman (btw. I loved Strax's dislike of River and Clara's sass towards her in the conference scene). One could argue that - as the Doctor pointed out to River - it just hurts too much for him to remember her or acknowledge her presence (how does that even work and don't make it into some philosophical "the people you love will never leave you" shit). Well, he doesn't really talk about any of his lost companions, at least not a lot - with Rose seemingly being the exception because he couldn't stop mentioning her to Martha (which was kind of douche-y and inconsiderate too, to think of it). So, does that mean they're all there with him all the time and he just ignores it? Or is River "special" in this regard too?
In case you were wondering: I disliked the kissing-goodbye scene a lot. Maybe I just don't want to be reminded of the Doctor's marriage. Maybe I just don't want him to love River Song. And to show it like that. Kissing her! The Doctor doesn't kiss. I'm talking about real kisses. Not forehead kisses out of affection or anything like that. Eight kissed Grace in the movie - first time a Doctor kissed a companion (but the movie doesn't really count, does it?). It has never happened before but I guess it was needed to please the American audience and Non-Whovians watching it not as part of Doctor Who, but as movie of its own. Nine kissed Rose in "The Parting of Ways" but only to save her life. Ten kissed Martha in "Smith and Jones" so he could use her to distract the Judoon. Eleven kissed Rory and, in "The Crimson Horror" Jenny - but in both cases, that wasn't anything romantic. And Eleven kisses River. Apparently in a romantic way. And it just feels wrong. I just really prefer the Doctor to have platonic relationships with his companion. Or non-requited feelings. Or, you know, they can both have feelings for each other but please don't act on it. Stuff like that. And I really dislike River Song. Anyway, I really hope she's gone for good now.

I'm kind of curious about how this whole John Hurt as the Doctor thing will play out in the end. For now, I can't really comment on that, because with Moffat, you never know. I know I don't want him to be a proper incarnations of the Doctor. Not some Doctor we "skipped". There's speculation he might be the Valeyard. It's a plausible theory, because that way he would somehow be the Doctor, but not really the Doctor. But we'll see. Since Moffat is such a genius he might be able to once again change the history of Doctor Who.

To Fanfest or Not To Fanfest - Doctor Who 50th Anniversary Special

I don't know what to say. Steven Moffat is just the most egotistical, power drunk and disrespectful douche on this darn fucking planet.

 Warning: Spoilers for the 50th Anniversary Special and unreserved Moffat hate.



 Remember how happy I was when there were rumors that all the Doctor's (living and dead) would be in the 50th Anniversary Special? Ok, that wasn't all true and the rumors weren't Moffat's fault. But it would have been what the 50th Anniversary should have been like.
But at least we got David Tennant and Billie Piper back – yay! I was a happy fangirl. There's proof in the form of pictures, so unless Moffat totally screwed up their characters, that one's still lovely news and makes me look forward to this episode.
 Then all the talk about Christopher Eccleston not being back after having had a talk with Moffat. I know some people were sad, but it was to be expected. As much as I'd like to believe that he wanted to be back and just didn't like Moffat's plans... I did love his Doctor, but it was never a secret that “Doctor Who” wasn't exactly Chris's favorite job, so I never really expected him to come back in the first place. He was never a fanboy as Tennant, and never as committed to the show as, let's say Tom Baker, Sylvester McCoy or Paul McGann (doing all those audio plays and stuff).

Now, not asking any of the Classic Doctors if they wanted a part in the episode – and those are actors who really love this show, and, in fact, shaped “Doctor Who” into the huge success that it was and is... it would never have lasted for 50 years if it wasn't for them. Not asking them back... well, that's already kind of douche-y in itself. And disrespectful. (I know John Barrowman would have loved to take part as well, but... yeah, nevermind, he wasn't asked back either.)
I think not honoring the people who MADE THIS SHOW, though, that's the worst.

 And then this quote from Entertainment Weekly:

"It is important you don't turn it into a fanfest. We can't make this all about looking backwards. It's actually got to be the start of a new story."

Really, Moffat? When, do I ask you, would be a better opportunity for having a fanfest? It's the frikkin' fucking 50th Anniversary!!!!! And the show didn't last for 50 years because of your “genius”, it lasted this long because it had a faithful fanbase! And of course this episode should be about the fans that have stayed with the show for this long! Have you seen any of the other special episodes? Like... “The Three Doctors” or “The Five Doctors” - those were always fanfests! Because back then, the showrunners actually appreciated their fans!

And now, we get THIS SHIT?!!!!

I mean, not only is that cheating us of one regeneration – which, to be honest, I don't even care about anymore because... I don't know if I want to watch this show for much longer. I mean, I really enjoy the second half of series 7. Clara is a delightful companion and I feel like the stories are back to good old glory without too much of all that conspiracy theory – riddle – wibbly wobbly woozy stuff that has been shoved in our faces especially during series 6. Also, I really enjoy the current lack of River Song.
 But... I'm really afraid that all the power has gotten to Moffat's head. That guy seems to think he can do with the show whatever he wants, neglecting everything that has been established as canon prior to his reign. Also; I'm really starting to think he's just an egotistical madman.
 I always thought – at least that's what's always been said – that Moffat was a fan of the show. But to be honest, I cannot believe that anymore. There's just too much going on right now that doesn't seem very fanboy to me. At least not “Doctor Who” fanboy. It seems like the only thing that Moffat can be a fan of is himself.

 That someone is now to be the Ninth Doctor... that is unacceptable. To me this just feels like something to get back at Chris Eccleston for not wanting to participate. Like Moffat saying “You didn't want to play Nine, now someone else is going to be Nine.” And that's just childish and disrespectful (again).
 Not to speak of the fact that it messes with all the New Who counting. So Eccleston would then be the Tenth Doctor, Tennant the Eleventh and Matt Smith the Twelfth. Which means... that Matt will be the last Doctor to be able to regenerate.
 And this is just me being bitter and angry now, but it looks like Moffat wanted to make sure that he will be the last writer to ever write a regeneration. I know that's probably bonkers but I wouldn't put it past him. I feel like he wants to shape this show like no showrunner has shaped “Doctor Who” before. He wants put his mark on this one, make it his own. He doesn't want to work within the framework of the show, he wants to bend everything that ever was canon to his will. Make sure he's gonna be remembered.

 Oh, how I wish that Russell T. Davies was still running “Doctor Who” and was the one writing the 50th Anniversary episode. Not to say that he was perfect, but yes, I did and do prefer his writing to Moffat's. And I'm sure he would have turned the Anniversary Special into something wonderful and something that showed appreciation for the history of “Doctor Who”, as well as the fans who've stuck with the show for this long. Russell, please come back!

 Ok, now bring on the hate. But that's what I think.